We all have the ability to frame our lives in a positive or negative light. Depending on which one you choose as your focus, life can seem like a nightmare or a dream. Your brain is built to locate and recognize patterns and it is constantly scanning your environment to find information that is consistent with what you believe to be true. So whether you think your life is a nightmare or a dream, either way you are right. Your brain is going to find what it is searching for. If you believe, for example, that the universe is working against you, that people are unkind, that the world is a cruel place, then you will undoubtedly find evidence to corroborate this everywhere you look. Likewise, if you believe that people are generally good and kind, that there is always hope, that the world is a safe place and that life is like a dream, then you will be primed to find hidden beauty wherever you go.
So, I am proposing that the one true key to happiness is staying fully present in the here and now and approaching these moments with a positive attitude.
That's it. That's all there is to being truly happy. It's that simple!
I know, I know...easier said than done right? But with some practice and patience, you can build the habit of being fully present in your life and you can free yourself from the stranglehold of anxiety and fear. Think of how many moments you have missed in your life because you were preoccupied with worries about the future or the past. How many smiles, laughs, and sunsets did you fail to notice because you were thinking about that big test coming up or that bill you still have to pay or because you were angry and stewing about something that happened to you yesterday or maybe even weeks ago?
Every time you allow yourself to worry, the fact is you are not here in the present. When we are anxious about something, we are focused on either the past or the future, not the here and now. Anxiety is completely natural. It's a survival mechanism that we humans have to keep ourselves safe from possible harmful situations. But sometimes this ancient mechanism is triggered in situations that no longer serve us and can keep us paralyzed with fear and worry. If we can learn to recognize that our machinery is a little bit outdated, we can then override this system with positivity and logic.
Jude Bijou's book, "Attitude Reconstruction", is an excellent read on this topic. I have mentioned this book before in my posts, and I refer to it once again because it is a wonderful reference for dealing with negative beliefs and emotions. It is a must read for anyone who would like to improve their emotional intelligence and learn how to express their emotions in a healthy manner.
What are some things we can do to stay fully present in the here and now?
Kinetic activities like dancing and yoga can help us to cultivate a stronger connection to our bodies.
Practicing mindfulness and meditating can teach us how to let those distracting thoughts and worries just float on by without giving them any energy. Mindfulness can also help us learn to pull our attention to the present and it can rewire our brains to start doing this naturally with enough practice.
Simple things like going for a walk in nature, noticing trees and flowers. Paying attention to the little things and being grateful that you are there.
Starting a gratitude journal can help us to think in a more positive way and to notice these little things.
Finally, just simply breathing and paying attention to your breath is a tiny change that can make a huge difference in your life. Focus on your breath as you inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Fill your lungs as much as possible and try to notice how it feels to take it all in. If you are being distracted by worrisome thoughts, just let them go as you exhale and keep breathing until you are only focused on your breath. You can do this over and over again for as long as you need to get into this habit. It takes some practice at first to start clearing your mind, but eventually it becomes a natural state of being.
Change doesn't always happen overnight. But by making just one of these simple changes to your lifestyle and practicing daily, you can attain freedom from worry and fear if you fully commit.
You can be here.
